Clergyman Has Potato Surgically Removed From His Rectum

A clergyman, in his 50s, checked into Sheffield's Northern General Hospital with a potato lodged up his ass and had to have it surgically removed.

The clergyman claims that the potato was not up there as a result of any sex games, but that he was hanging curtains in his kitchen while nude and happened to slip and fall on it. He must have one loose asshole.

Source: Metro

Woman Calls 911 From Her Front Lawn Claiming She's Lost In The Woods

A woman in Hudson, FL was arrested after calling 911 to report that she was lost in the woods and didn't know where to urinate. Deputies responding to the call instead found Marcia Usher in her front yard, intoxicated and holding a beer, while a loaded handgun sat in the top of her cooler. Clearly a classy woman.

After a struggle, Usher was tackled to the ground and taken into custody, where during a strip search a vial of meth residue was discovered. She now faces charges of carrying a concealed weapon without a permit, possession of methamphetamine, introduction/possession of contraband in a detention facility, and resisting arrest without violence.

Source: WTSP